I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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