I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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