so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You are a genius and a whore.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
