just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
