I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you didnt know i had herpes?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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