Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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