btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
