So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
