Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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