meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize