do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
