I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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