To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i will never coherently bang her
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
bring money and cleavage
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
