When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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