Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
