you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
