Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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