I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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