We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize