She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
MIDGETS
????
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize