Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
