im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it was like eating out sand paper
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
