I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
