I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
