I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
