Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
