the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
