i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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