Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
