Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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