I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
