I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
