if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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