nut hugger
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
