playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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