He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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