I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
