Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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