I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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