I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
