so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You pole danced in your parka.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
