that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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