Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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