I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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