So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
