Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
