My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
he had hair everywhere except his balls
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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