Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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