Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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