So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
