Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize