Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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