She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Mom said you looked used
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
