After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
