i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Who wears a wallet chain?!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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