So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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