A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
