I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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