4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
