think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
