I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
