im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
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