p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I love you.
Bad choice
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