There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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