I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
